:Read Us Via idiot's Feed   --------------------- Ur Chan$e Ov Blabberin & Some P®oxy Sites MayBe --------------------- Sunday, April 30, 2006 307 What Was My Age Again? In The land Of Idiots Day's social discussion is whether women can go to stadiums and watch men playing soccer or not! But Laws and restrictions in my own land are even worse than this! You Havent completed your 4th lap running around one of the main round abouts of the city yet that policemen show up and arrest you! for what reason? Well! You were only running naked... در سرزمين احمق ها مسئلهء روز اين است كه زنان مي توانند در استاديوم ها فوتبال بازي كردن مردها را ببينند يا نه. اما در سرزمين من اوضاع وحشتناك تر از اينهاست! هنوز دور چهارم دويدنت بدور ميدون اصلي شهر تمام نشده است كه سرو كلهء پليس پيدا مي شود و تو را دستگير مي كنند. به چه جرمي؟ فقط به اين خاطر كه لخت بودي... Written & Translated At 3:14 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Saturday, April 29, 2006 306 Uninvited Its 2:37 Am I am wishing for a couple of Sheeps. ساعت 2:37 دقيقهء‌ بامداد گوسفندم آرزوست... Written & Translated At 2:34 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Thursday, April 27, 2006 305 I'm Only Happy when it rains Thunderstormy Nights Is not the night for Lovers or love somes at all and its not for peots to bring out new things outta their mind either. Stormy nights is not only for those who have lost their mind besides its the night for those who suddenly have taken a look at their own sunny days and realized that there is nothing much left in it either. they pull their jacket's hood over their head and come out from their holes and so alike bedridden Escapees, they start injectiong all the Apathetic feelings to their mind through their ears when they have already put the wires of their own semi kind of brain washing machine. putting their hands in their pocket, they walk from dark avenues to darker ones like a shadow and they stop and look back from time to time. Stormy nights are the nights of Those who's expiration smells like pistol's smoke. when the strangers who are standing under a Hovel stare at them they prepare themselve for a defensive formation and they grasp the pistol in their pocket harder. Stormy Nights are the nights for Impercipients You Should never arouse their anger at such evenings. Even Wall's Of the dark avenues know about this. شبهاي طوفاني نه شب آدماي عاشق پيشه است نه شبي كه آدم، احساسات كذايي شاعرانه اش گل كند. شبهاي طوفاني نه تنها مال آدمائيه كه به نظر عقلشونو از دست داده اند بلكه علاوه بر اون از آنه كسائيه كه به ناگاه نگاهي به روزهاي آفتابيشان انداخته اند و ديده اند در آنها هم چيز خاصي باقي نمانده است. آن وقت كلاه هاي بارانيشان را روي سرشان مي كشند و از سوراخ هايشان بيرون مي آيند و خيلي شبيه بيماران فراري همانطور كه سيمهاي دستگاه شستشوي مغزي مانندشان به گوششان وصل است شروع مي كنند تمام حس هاي بي احساسي را تزريق كردن به مغزشان و دستها خيلي توي جيب، سايه وار، از كوچه هاي تاريك به قصد كوچه هاي تاريك تر گذر مي كنند و هر از گاهي مي ايستند و به پشت سرشان خيره مي شوند. همانهايي كه به جاي بازدم، از دهانشان دود تپانچه بيرون مي آيد و وقتي غريبه هاي ايستاده زير سايبان ها به آن ها زل مي زنند دستشان را بيشتر توي جيبشان فرو مي برند حالت تدافعي به خود مي گيرند و تپانچه شان را محكمتر در دستانشان مي فشارند. شب هاي طوفاني شب آدماي بي احساس است هيچ وقت نبايد در چنين شبهايي خشمشان را برانگيخته كرد. اين را حتي ديوارهاي كوچه هاي تاريك هم مي دانند. Written & Translated At 11:08 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, April 25, 2006 304 Fat Fuck I Feel So Sick! I cant Digest Lactose Neither your brain not the lonely nail on the wall either. The problem gets worst when you know that I Cant Nauseate them on your dress neither on the monitor not on your face either. وضع مزاجي ام حسابي به هم ريخته است. نه لاكتوز را مي توانم هضم كنم نه مغز تو را نه ميخ تنهاي روي ديوار را موضوع وقتي بغرنج مي شود كه بداني آنها را نمي توانم بالا بياورم نه روي لباس تو نه روي مانيتور نه توي صورتت Written & Translated At 12:40 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Saturday, April 22, 2006 303 In Your Honor There Are Moments In Life that you've got to shut your mouth up When there is nothing special to talk about. The Fact that We've got the same language to speak is not a good reason for you to waste my time on hearing about You and Your nationality, your country, your people and their beliefs, and whatever the fuck is the rest. There are moments in life which I Choose Whether you should be ON or OFF. No Drugs Can Save you In these specific Moments, you Cant survive with Alcohol Either. There Are Moments In Life that you've got to shut your mouth up When there is nothing special to tell. Like Now... لحظه هايي در زندگي هست كه وقتي چيزي براي گفتن وجود ندارد بايد خفقان گرفت. گيرم كه من و تو هر دو زبان مشترك داريم اين دليل نمي شود كه من بخواهم در مورد تو مليتت، كشورت، مردمانت و اعتقاداتشون و بقيهء‌ مزخرفات ديگه ات بشنوم. لحظه هايي در زندگي هست كه من تعيين مي كنم خاموش باشي يا روشن. براي اين لحظه ها نه قرصي ساخته شده است نه الكل نجاتت مي دهد. لحظه هايي در زندگي هست كه وقتي چيزي براي گفتن وجود ندارد بايد خفقان گرفت. مثل الان... Written & Translated At 3:20 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Friday, April 21, 2006 302 Symptoms of The New world's Disorder: Cyber suicide I Feel Like I Should try to fill the empty spaces of those Anonym Gods who Hung themselves with their own keyboard wire at the backstage of their own weblogs. or those who cut their veins with their broken Music CDs. and All The others Who Slipped and their ignored philosophies broke them down in their own depths of nothingness. Their notes got disappeared, and noone ever found out about what happened to them. Best Regards I-I احساس مسئوليت مي كنم، در پر كردن جاي خالي تمام خدايان گمنامي كه در پشت پردهء نوشته هاي وبلاگشان خودشان را با سيم كيبورد دار زدند يا آنهايي كه با CD هاي شكسته موسيقي شان رگ خويش را بريدند. و آنهايي كه پايشان لغزيد و فلسفه هاي ناديده گرفته شده شان آن ها را به اعماق پوچي درونشان سقوط داد. نوشته هايشان ناپديد، و سرنوشت شان هيچ گاه معلوم نشد. با احترام فراوان I-I Written & Translated At 2:24 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, April 19, 2006 301 Got Stuck Badly In Strings - I'm Drowning In This Holy Adagio... Everything is repetitious Me, You, The sound that Comes out, out of our headphones plus all those "Specialities" in the people who pass us by. Everything has become repetitious. When It comes to evening, people get out of their houses and look for their own nothing thing! It seems like all the girl's face features has been copied From Ana's and All The Men Have become My Old Friend's Father. But After all Women still have got many proportions to themselves. Not Alike you, They Have never invited me to their house for a tea party for two neither they can make tea and cook chocolate cakes the way you do. let alone sitting beside me and asking me to play piano for them! but anyway someday Your wrinkled face will make you repetitious. Writers Job Was a repetitious one from the beginning as well the difference is, they go and find new ways to express the same old things and ofcourse, they will never gonna tell you the secret... And You! Consider that You Have never heard me say that. [One Of My Best Translations Ever] i-i همه چيز تكراري است من، تو، صداهايي كه از هدفون هايمان بيرون مي آيد به علاوهء‌ «خاص بودن» آدم هايي كه از كنارمان رد مي شوند. همه چيز تكراري شده است عصر كه مي شود همه از خانه هايشان بيرون مي آيند و به دنبال هيچي شان مي گردند. گويي چهرهء‌ همهء دختران هم از چهرهء «آنا» كپي زده شده است و همهء مردان هم شده اند پدر دوست قديمي من. اما با اين وجود زنان هنوز شباهت هاي زيادي به خودشان دارند آنها نه مانند تو تا به حال مرا براي عصرانه به خانه شان دعوت كرده اند نه چاي و كيك شكلاتي هاي تو را مي توانند درست كنند چه برسد به اينكه كنار من بنشينند و از من بخواهند برايشان پيانو بزنم. اما به هر حال روزي صورت چروكيده تو را هم مثل آنها تكراري مي كند. كار نويسندگان هم از همان اول تكراري بوده است با اين تفاوت كه آنها هميشه مكررات را به روش هاي تازه بيان كرده اند صدايش را هم در نياورده اند... و تو! حرف منو نشنيده بگير... Written & Translated At 1:13 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, April 18, 2006 300 A Perfect Night With Alan Jackson Loneliness is included in the world of those who have got a cell phone! The people who's inner desires make them wish You and I would ring and try their new ringtone, without showing them that we have noticed that thing, you know. They sit aside and stare at their cell phone Getting their heart beats harder as soon as they hear the noise in the speakers that are playing: We NeVer Change. Just like me playing in my daily documentary movie in which I go to my mail box and Act or expect like there is someone, got something to tell me. Me? I dont feel like I'm lonesome and I dont get ringed that much either. Besides I have got a great collection of Video & Music CD's For My Rainy Days. Whats the use of the cell phones anyway? Are you saying that there are too many people out there hoping that you'd be available except those who show up when they need you to give them a hand? تنهايي دنياي آدم هاي با موبايل است! همان هايي كه خواهش درونيشان اين است كه من و تو هم صداي زنگ جديدشان را امتحان كنيم، به رويشان هم نياوريم. همانهايي كه يك گوشه مي نشينند و به گوشي شان خيره مي شوند. و به محض اين كه صداي نويز را در بلندگوهايي كه We NeVer Change را مي خوانند مي شنوند، قلبشان از جا كنده مي شود. درست مثل من, در سكانس تكراري فيلم مستند روزانه ام كه بي دليل وارد ميل باكسم ميشوم و طوري رفتار مي كنم كه انگار قرار است كسي گفتني هايش را براي من نوشته باشد! من؟ من نه آدم تنهاييم نه زنگ خورم زياده به علاوه، يك كلكسيون از CD هاي موزيك و فيلم هم كنار گذاشته ام براي روزاي مبادا. حالا خودمونيم مورد مصرف موبايل در چيه؟ مگر بجز كساني كه وقتي باهات كار دارند پيدايشان مي شود افراد زيادي باقي مانده اند كه آرزو كنند اي كاش در دسترس باشي؟ Written & Translated At 1:14 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Monday, April 17, 2006 299 One [Iranian idiot's Metallica Cover] We've got to Think About it this way: Brain Drain? Or Grain Brain [Of The Bides]? i ديگر بايد اينجوري بهش فكر كرد: فرار مغزها؟ يا قرار احمق ها؟ Written & Translated At 3:06 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Sunday, April 16, 2006 298 If God Was A Woman May the 32 Year old Women Or Older are our best choices. They have not dreamed that their husband would be a rich man the night that their mother told them earlier in the kitchen that its time for them to marry, they dont criticize you by saying how great their previous wooers were either. Besides They do know how to wipe and clean up an infant's ass. or we may say they know how to deal with it. Whilst they dont have many of the qualities of a newlywed, No one look at them like they are a newlywed. A Typical of a gentle, demure woman who doesnt giveaway her feminine secrets. So Mature that you'd love listening to what she is saying. And this is very important! very very important... زنان 32 ساله به بالا شايد بهترين انتخاب باقي ماندهء‌ ما هستند. آنها نه شب همان ظهري كه مادرشان در آشپزخانه بهشان گفته وقت ازدواجشان است خواب ديده اند كه: «شوهرشان يك فرد پولدار مي شود» نه خواستگارهاي سابقشان را در آينده به رخت مي كشند. علاوه بر آن كون بچه را هم بلدند بشويند. ضمن اينكه خيلي از خصوصيات يك تازه عروس را ندارند، كسي هم به چشم تازه عروس نگاهشان نمي كند. نمونهء يك زن آرام و موقر كه در واقع رازهاي زنانه اش را رو نمي كند. كامل و بالغ، خيلي پخته و دلنشين صحبت مي كند. و اين موضوع خيلي مهم است! خيلي مهم... Written & Translated At 1:15 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Friday, April 14, 2006 297 Whatevaaa دنياي اينها هم اونقدر كوچيك هست كه منو ارضا نكنه. من گيجم... ميگم احترام هم در گراني هستا... به هر كس ندهم! ممكن هم هست كه يه «حتي به شما دوست عزيز» هم زيرش بنويسم. راستي دقت كردي فيلترينگ اينترنت هم حق مسلم توست؟ من گيج نيستم گيج و مبهوت هستم من؟ خب راستش... امممم من... قضيهء‌ من رو بعدا بهت ميگم باشه؟ ترجمه اش هم باشه واسه يه وقت ديگه... تموم شد... پاشو برو برس به كارت ديگه. صبر كن! ميگما... من حوصله ندارم... حتي شما دوست عزيز... آخه امروز تي شرت سياهمو پوشيدم... خب برو حالا... الان ديگه مي توني بري... برو ديگه... ببين منو... من الانComfortably Numbام برو يه وقت ديگه بيا... اونموقع برات حتما وقت مي گذارم... باشه؟ مرسي... I Might translate it some other time... Written & Translated At 12:10 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Thursday, April 13, 2006 296 Axel is Right! All You Need [Right Now] Is Just A little Patience, My Sweet Sugar اينقدر از من نخواه تا يه چيزي برات بنويسم! گيرهم نده! بابا لنگ دراز مو فرفري الان خيلي خستشه خوابشم مياد! خوب؟ Do Not ask me to write sth for you right now! Dont insist! The Daddy Long Legs with Curely Hairs is So Tired right now he really needs to rest! Ok? i-i Written & Translated At 8:34 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, April 12, 2006 295 A Short Movie Called Alzheimer, directed and produced by I-I دو ساعت قبل از اينكه از تو بپرسم: كبريت ها را كجا گذاشته اي؟ تو سكته مي كني و من از لابلاي وسايلت وصيت نامه را بيرون مي كشم و در شومينه مي اندازم تا اتاقم دوباره گرم شود. از پنجره به بيرون كه نگاه مي كنم ميبينيم همه جا سبز شده است. يادم مي افتد الان كه زمستان نيست! با عجله وصيت نامهء سوخته را از آتش بيرون مي كشم تو را به بيمارستان مي رسانم و قبل از اينكه حالت جا بيايد تا از تو بپرسم: «كبريت هايي كه خريده بودي را كجا گذاشته اي؟» يادم مي افتد شومينه كه روشن بود! با عجله... [و اين داستان به همين منوال ادامه دارد] And Two hours before I Ask you: Where have you put those match boxes? you get a heart attack and I go, find the holograph through your stuff and throw it in the fireplace to heat up the room. I look out of the window and see that everywhere is green which reminds me that its not winter time! immediately I pull out the burnt holograph from the fireplace take you to the hospital and before you get any chance to talk so that I could ask: Where did you put those match boxes you bought that day? I remember that the fireplace was lightened! Immediately... [to be continued like this...] i-i Written & Translated At 11:14 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Monday, April 10, 2006 294 Well... Actually I Was Talking To Myself ماهيگير پير گفت: «ماهيگير واقعي ماهي هاي كوچك و بدردنخور رو دوباره توي آب رها مي كنه.» The Old fisherman said: "A real fisherman lets go the small fishes." e Written & Translated At 9:52 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Saturday, April 08, 2006 293 ?What is the price to pay to live like a woman جايي در هواي خليج هميشه فارس و سواحل هميشه پر زباله براي كودكي ها و هوس هاي زن هميشه ايراني نوشته اند: ACCESS DENIED در همان محلي كه علامت هاي سوال بدور سر من Merry-go-round بازي مي كنند. و من مي شوم سرگيجه Somewhere in the air of the Forever Persian Gulf and in the Forever trashed beaches For the desires of the Forever Iranian women has been written: ACCESS DENIED In the place which Question Marks are playing Merry-go-round around my head and I go Vertigo Written & Translated At 12:01 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Thursday, April 06, 2006 292 !Sweet Dreams Mary! Oh My Very Very Mary فيلماي ترسناك به احترام چهرهء تو خوف ناك بودنشان را تخفيف داده اند آن هم 20 درصد فقط به خاطر سال نو... Horror Movies have put their macabre on discount To Honor your face up to 20% Just because of the new year thing... Written & Translated At 5:22 PM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Wednesday, April 05, 2006 291 ...Lick The Pavement! One, two, three, four مصدر «خلاف جهت آدماي پياده رو قدم زدن» تنها يك صرف دارد آن هم اول شخص مفرد است. همان جهتي كه دستان افسر پليس هيچگاه نشانش نمي دهد. طولاني بودن اين مصدر را هم بايد از مهندس هايي كه اين راه را طولاني طراحي كردند پرسيد. والا من كه سرم به راه خودم بود تو هم كه منو نمي شناختي. The Infinitive of "walking the opposite direction of the people in pavements" Has only one inflection and thats First person. The Direction which the police officer never points to. And if you want to know why this road is so long you've got to ask those Engineers who have designed it like this for us. I Was only watching my own steps and you didnt know me at all. Written & Translated At 11:24 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Monday, April 03, 2006 290 Conditions Of The Contract بيا مرزامونو همين الان مشخص كنيم تا اگر دفعهء‌ بعد نصفه شب دور از چشم بقيه زد به سرت آمدي توي اتاق هتل من سرخورده نشي حالت گرفته شه... من هم در عوض بهت قول ميدم بهت دست نزنم و فقط نگات كنم. Let's Define Our sanctums right now so that you wont felt pissed or slipped Off next time you hide yourself from the other's eyes to come to my hotel room. I promise instead to look And Not to touch. Written & Translated At 11:49 AM by Mr. Idiot - ------------------------------------------------- Saturday, April 01, 2006 289 It Girl , Rag Doll مربع عشق 3 ضلع دارد من و تو كه در نهايت به يك نقطهء كور ختم مي شود. The Quadrangle of love has 3 sides Me & You That finally Ends up in a blind spot. 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